Fitting Grief Into the Life of the College Student

By Karolyn Castaldo on November 29, 2011

College students have extremely stressful lives. Between classes, homework, exams, clubs, activities, committees, and actually having a life, it can seem like we do not even have time to catch our breath. So how do we deal with grief when it strikes us at a bad time?

Photo from Flickr.com by sridgway

This month, I found out about the death of my grandmother and of a close family friend within five days of each other. Not only that, but it was finals week. What was worse was that I couldn’t go home. I go to school two thousand miles away from my family, and therefore, I did not really have the support system I was needing. Everyone who was going through what I was going through was at home, together, without me. Needless to say, I was completely overwhelmed and had no way of dealing with my stress and grief.

I decided that I needed to do what I always do when faced with a problem: I talked it out and I threw myself into a project. I made sure to keep in touch with my parents and sister, my close friends from home, and my friends at school. I let them know how I was feeling and let myself cry. I also made studying for my exams my top priority. I had never been so focused. It became possible for studying to be my escape from everything that I was feeling. My work was done much sooner than I needed it to be and I was able to cut down on the stress of school. I could let my grief replace my stress and so I had room for it.

When I came home for break, I decided that it was time to let myself feel something about the situation. I had missed the funeral for my family friend because of school, but the service for my grandmother was this past weekend. Being able to say goodbye in the company of my family has given me a better sense of closure. By no means am I better, but I am accepting the fact that in life, we must lose the ones we love to better appreciate theirs and our time on earth. I am thankful that I could rely on my family and friends in such hard times.

For anyone who has gone through this, or may go through this in the future, as I’m sure will happen, it is essential to find a way to release the grief. Mourning is a normal cycle in the grieving process, but it is necessary to let it drive you, rather than tear you down, in stressful times. The most important thing is to take that extra breath that you never feel like you have time for in college when something like this happens in your life. You’ll be happy you did.

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